Kaiser Noire
Freelance Writer
and creator of bespoke
metaphysical goods
Misty
VLD | YGO
He/him, 32+
© Kaiser Noire. All rights reserved.
Kaiser Noire
Portfolio
Check out my current work on Archive of Our Own.I also write short fic threads on my Twitter. Sometimes they are short ideas that I probably won't flush out more, or they could be just a taste of a much longer piece that I am working on.
I specialize in
- creative writing
- fanfiction
- smut/erotica
- polyamorous relationships
- sci-fi
- cyber-punk
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© Kaiser Noire. All rights reserved.
Kaiser Noire
Commissions
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A collaboration effort, but you have the creative control here! I will work closely with you to make sure that your piece is what you want.
Remember to read everything on this page! There is a form to fill out at the very bottom!
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Interested in a Request? Check out the Requests section!
Commissions Status: Closed
As of Feb 2020
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Pricing
Base Price1,000 words = $27 USD (nine ko-fis)
2,000 words = $54 USD (eighteen ko-fis)
5,000 words = $135 USD (forty-five ko-fis)The entire payment is due upfront, unless a payment plan is approved beforehand.Discounts available after 5k words! Please contact for more info!
Add-Ons- Sex/smut/most kinks: additional $6 USD for every 200 words
- Kinks that I need to research: above fee + $3 USD for every 100 words
- Extreme kinks*: above fee + additional $6 USD for every 100 words
- Different fandom than previously listed: additional $21 USD (flat fee)
- Extensive research needed: starting at an additional $21 USD (flat fee)
- Rush job/short deadline: starting at an additional $33 USD (flat fee)Any questions, feel free to ask! Add-Ons fees list is subject to change.If you aren’t sure what kinks I am familiar with, feel free to contact me for more info!*(Please contact me if you have any questions.)
NOTE! Purely smut/erotica/PWP:
Please contact me for a quote! Approximate pricing guide:1,000 words = $39 USD (thirteen ko-fis)
2,000 words = $72 USD (twenty-four ko-fis)
Some kinks may incur an additional fee. Again, please contact for a quote. Discounts available after 5k words.
Refund Policy
- 80% refund = Not started (the 20% is considered a non-refundable deposit)
- 75% refund = outline or synopsis started/done
- 70% refund = less than 25% of the word count done
- 50% refund = 25% to 50% of the word count done
- 25% refund = 50% to 75% of the word count done
- 0% refund = complete or 100% of the word count done, but not yet published to AO3 and/or provided to commissioner
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Will Not Write
Even though I am OK with most things, I will not write- rape and non-con
- pedophilia
- major character death
- watersports (piss kink), scat
- pregnancy of any kind
- hanahaki disease
- VLD season 8 epilogue compliant
- genderbendsThis list is subject to change at any time and at my own discrepancy.
Fandom &
Ship Info
Fandoms I will write:
- Yu-gi-oh!: Duel Monsters
- Voltron: Legendary Defeder
If you are interested in a different fandom, please ask! I'm not opposed to writing for something else, but there will be an additional fee.
Ships I have familiarity writing:
- Puppyshipping (YGO)
- Puzzleshipping (YGO)
- Battleshipping (Seto x Joey x Yugi) (YGO)- Sheith (VLD)
- Shirocest (VLD)
- Kurosheith (VLD)
- Shkatt (VLD)
- Allurance (VLD)
- Hance (VLD)
If you are interested in a different ship, please ask! Please keep in mind that I have full right to deny a ship.
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Other Things of note
Timeline: I will normally complete your work in approximately 3-4 weeks for most projects from the date that we finalize what you would like to have commissioned. I do work full time, plus have other commitments, so this timeline can and will be fluid. I will contact you directly if the timeline will exceed 1 (one) month.
Basic Process:
Request sent →
I will contact in approx. 1 to 3 business days →
We will finalize details →
Entire payment via Ko-fi →
I will write up & send outline/synopsis →
Outline/synopsis gets approved →
I will send you the draft once it is complete →
Draft approval →
Any final edits (as necessary) →
Final copy will be delivered to you & posted on AO3 (with permission) →
Please keep in mind, that if you commission a longer work, then it will take longer for me to write!
Deadlines: Is this for a specific date or a gift for a friend's birthday? Please let me know ASAP, so that I can confirm if it will be done in time.
Sponser a full/partial fic: Want to commission me to write something from my Work In Progress list, or a part/full chapter of a fic that is Ongoing on AO3? First of all, oh god, I love you. Second, yes please! If this is something you are interested in doing, I will happily discuss options with you. As a rule of thumb: you would only pay the Base Price for this style of commission; no additional charges, no matter the content. This is not a hard rule, but we can discuss details.
Word Count Overages: If you pay for a specific word count, and I end up going over then you will not have to pay the overages! Those are free!
Commissioning NSFW content: This should go without saying, but if you are under 18 years old then I cannot accept a NSFW commission from you. I am still more than happy to work with you on a commission, but it cannot contain NSFW elements. Thank you for your understanding!
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Commissions Status: Closed
As of Feb 2020
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© Kaiser Noire. All rights reserved.
Kaiser Noire
Requests
A quick prompt that you send my way! I will use it as inspiration and will have the creative control of the entire piece.
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Interested in a request? Leave a note with a Ko-fi donation or contact me on Curious Cat.*
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Please note! I will prioritize requests sent with a Ko-fi donation over those sent via Curious Cat.
Fic request?
Leave a prompt in the message of the kofi, your Twitter and/or AO3 if you want to be tagged when it gets posted.✨Min donation is $15 USD
✨Will write approximately 1.5k words. (But maybe more!)Want to guarantee that I write something larger? Consider a commission!Twitter fic thread request?
Leave a prompt in the message of the kofi, and your Twitter if you want to be tagged when it gets posted.✨$9 = about 10-12 tweets (about 450-500 words), SFW.
✨NSFW +1 kofi (PLEASE contact before!)Threads are more casual; that’s why it’s cheaper.Questions? Ask! If I don’t feel comfortable with your prompt, I will do my best to contact you.
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Interested in a Commission? Check out the Commissions section!
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Fandom &
Ship Info
Fandoms I will write:
- Yu-gi-oh!: Duel Monsters
- Voltron: Legendary Defeder
Ships I have familiarity writing:
- Puppyshipping (YGO)
- Puzzleshipping (YGO)
- Battleshipping (Seto x Joey x Yugi) (YGO)- Sheith (VLD)
- Shirocest (VLD)
- Allurance (VLD)
If you are interested in a different ship, please ask! Please keep in mind that I have full right to deny a ship.
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Will Not Write
Even though I am OK with most things, I will not write- rape and non-con
- dubious-con
- pedophilia
- major character death
- watersports (piss kink)
- pregnancy of any kindThis list is subject to change at any time and at my own discrepancy.
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Other Things of note
Timeline: I will normally complete your work in approximately 1-2 months for most requests. I do work full time, plus have other commitments, so this timeline can and will be fluid. Thank you for your understanding!
Sponsor part of a fic: Want to sponsor a fic from my Work In Progress list, or a part/full chapter of a fic that is Ongoing on AO3? First of all, oh god, I love you. Second, yes please!If this is something you are interested in doing, just leave a note with your Ko-fi donation and reference the work that you want to sponsor. Once the fic is posted I will thank you in the notes! As a rule of thumb: the more people sponsor a fic, the faster it will come out. This is not a hard rule, but we can discuss details if you are interested.
Requesting NSFW content: This should go without saying, but if you are under 18 years old then I cannot accept a NSFW request from you. I am still more than happy to work with you on a commission or request, but it cannot contain NSFW elements. Thank you for your understanding!
© Kaiser Noire. All rights reserved.
Kaiser Noire
Please answer these questions in the MESSAGE section of the below form.
Fill out to the best of your ability.Permission to post to AO3 and other social media?
If yes, please list your AO3 and other social media:
Does your commission contain NSFW?
Desired word count (a range is OK!):
Do you have a deadline? (Rush job/short deadline may apply.)
Commission description:
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© Kaiser Noire. All rights reserved.
Contact
Have additional questions that aren’t covered in the Commisions page? Drop me a line and I will get back to you in 1-3 business days.
© Kaiser Noire. All rights reserved.
Kaiser Noire
Secret Shop!
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Zine Info
This is a unofficial zine from the franchise Voltron: Legendary Defender for the ship of Shiro and Keith (Sheith). This contains ONE fic.
This is a unofficial zine from the franchise Voltron: Legendary Defender for the ship of Shiro and Keith (Sheith). This contains THREE (3) fics.
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Other Things of note
Timeline: This is a Preorder! Please know that the timeline is about 2 months from the time that Preorders end to the time that you receive your item(s). Thank you for your understanding!
Buying NSFW content: This should go without saying, but you can only buy this item if you are over 18 years old. I cannot sell NSFW items to anyone below the age of 18. Thank you for your understanding!
Kaiser Noire
Secret Shop!
Congrats! You have stumbled upon my mini shop of objects and oddities. It is currently under construction, but will eventually be the home to physical copies of self-published works, and to any metaphysical oddities that I have created and/or blessed.Expect:~ self-published books~ fully dressed candle sticks (2 sizes)~ fully dressed jar candles (2 sizes)~ OOAK decorated mini besom/brooms (perfect for your alter, or for travel)If there is something that you are interested in, but I don’t have a listing for it, feel free to shoot me an email or a message in my Contact Me section.
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Other Things of note
Any and all metaphysical item in my shop has been hand selected and/or created by me, and will be smoke cleansed before it’s either sold at an in-person event, or shipped out to you.Yes, I am a practicing witch. 🖤Required disclaimer: I am not providing information about medicinal actions in any of my descriptions. Please note, any candles and other items are sold as curios only. Any medicinal, metaphysical or majikal outcomes are not guaranteed. Any information provided in my listings represent traditional or historical uses in folk medicine, folklore, mythology, witchcraft, or alternative spiritual practices and are provided only as a matter of interest.
© Kaiser Noire. All rights reserved.